Reflections on Loving Kindness Exercise

I enjoyed this exercise more than the previous two relaxation tapes we listened to. I think the reason is that I like less talk. With the previous two exercises my mind was thinking “ok, shut up so I can start relaxing”.  This time it was the perfect combination between guided imagery and relaxing white noise.

I found that when I pictured someone I cared about into order to expand my love, I choose family members….my Dad, Mom, brother, niece.  I tried to do this exercise thinking about my husband and I was challenged. This of course disturbed me. Why can I expand my love for family, but not my spouse? And my spouse is a good person, maybe a little controlling sometimes, but a very good person with a kind heart. And it is not just him; I tried to picture previous men I was in love with and the same thing happened.  It’s as if I have a blockage to truly open up in that kind of a way. It is definitely a more vulnerable kind of love than family.

Anyways, I found excepting someone’s pain actually easy. And not in a martyr kind of a way. I felt it was healthy. I know that I was capable of letting their pain into my heart without it lingering and doing damage. It felt good. I felt that I was able to use my feelings of loving kindness to heal someone else’s pain. This is definitely something to experiment with in patient care.

This exercise is an example of mental work-out.  Working out your brain, your mind, and your body all have similarities. Through effort and perseverance you are strengthening a part of you and making yourself more capable. More capable of lifting something or running fast, more capable of solving a mathematical problems, or more capable of practicing love and compassion.  There have been numerous studies showing that practicing mindfulness has physical  benefits such as increased clarity, reduces stress and stress-associated disease, and faster healing  (Carmody and Bear 2008). According to Dacher (2006),there  have also been studies showing structural changes in the brain with contemplative practice. 

Carmody, James; Baer, Ruth (2008) Relationships between mindfulness practice and levels of mindfulness, medical and psychological symptoms and well-being in a mindfulness-based stress reduction program.. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, Vol. 31 Issue 1. DOI: 10.1007/s10865-007-9130-7

Dacher, E.S. (2006) Integral Health: The Path to Human Flourishing.  Basic Health Publications; Laguna Beach, Ca